dear ladies, gentlemen, great white sharks, etc,
it seems that poota and i have stopped talking. no more are the gmilys when we wake up and gnily when we go to sleep. im not sure why it has happened, just that it has. I tried to talk to her on her birthday, but no anwser and no call backs either. im guessing that she needs space. or shes mad at me. or none of those reasons and something completely different. what i do know is that we arent talking anymore therefore we arent posting. so i have to apologize. i do hope you enjoyed the time you spent with us. i'll still keep the blog going and feel free to check back to see if anything has changed but as of right now it seems we've hit a rough patch. so no more posts until things are resolved. thanks for sticking it out this long.

tata for now. hopefully.

Happpppppy Birtttthhhhhhday Poota

That's right. It's pootas bday! Not sure what her plans are or if she's having amazing bday sex or what but i hope to gawd she is and will call me moments after to tell me all about it.

What do you wish for poota?
all 3 of you who read this... that is.




I like this picture.

sorry dudes, dudettes, great white sharks, etc

we suck.

it's pretty pathetic we can't get it together to post at least once in a while.

or maybe it's not.

maybe we are finally not chained to our computers and are actually doing stuff.

that's pretty cool, right?

let's go with that.

savannah is way too fuckin small ya'll homos.

missed connection

i am in love with a girl. this was our sole interaction.

me: uhmm..falafel with sweet tea please
her: african sweet tea?
me: sure
her: giggle

i gave her the "let's be gay together" look and i swear she smiled. i'm searching different ways to woo her which basically means i whine to my friends about how awkward i am and how i just want to hold her hand and how i don't know how to ask people out because they always ask me out. whaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaa.

dudes, she is asian! didn't know asians could be lesbians? well the can be. here are some of my faves. ok, scratch that, i couldn't figure out how to put the pix below my text so up above are some of my fave asian persuasion lesbians. or atleast asian actresses that play lesbians. yumyumyumkimcheepussy

OHKAY ALREADY

i been rule busy lates. my bad homoz. a proper post is on it's way. until then I will leave you to ponder on the following questions:

. if you had to choose would you rather be fucked by a pair of bowling balls or a cactus?

. does it make me a pervert if my panties were wetwetwet after i saw the recent fotos of justin bieber in his bathing suit?

. how relevant is the butch/femme spectrum in the dyke culture these days?

and finally,

. when does T.I.'s new album come out.

perfection

bzzzz bzzzz bzzzzz

Bookcase recently informed me that while she was visiting my lovely home she decided to try out my vibrating razor thing as a masturbatory tool. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. On that note, we are now embarking on what could be a dangerous journey of attempting to use every electronic, battery operated, or solar operated item we can possibly find as sex toys. We are currently stuck at: toothbrush, cellphone, before mentioned razor thangy and uhmmm, well really that is it. WHICH IS LYKE NO PHUN D00DS.

Suggestions?

who wants to play?

matt by jacobs by marc by marc jacobs by marc jacobs

this trip has been something else, lemme tell you. well, actually i wont, and ill save it for a giant post with pictures to follow later so that ya'll can get the whole tale blow by blow.

highlights include:

driving around crackheads
hiding in porta potties from the police
having a soy dog eating contest with someone named "Bobo"
setting up a face painting booth on River Street with only a sharpie

oh dont worry, theres more.

gf aside retail employees give great eye contact.

yay spring break Oh10.

4 hours

and Bookcase will be in my bed. We shall drink whiskatea outta wine glasses and cuddle like no tomorrow. STOKED.

LOLOMG

the ins and outs of anal

Bookcase and I talk about anal penetration almost as much as we talk about vag vomit, and for your information the words "vag vomit" leave our mouths at least 40 times a day, so yeah, we talk about anal sex A LOT. since we talk about it so much I have decided to do an entry on anal etiquette for all you fuck wads who don't what to do when it comes to the butthole.

Two Rules, Dudes:

FIRST. AND FOREMOST. ASK. Listen folks, it's not that complicated, just ask us if we want something up our butt. Don't assume that we DO want something up our ass, but also don't assume that we DON'T want something up our ass, so that is why asking is an easy solution. Then once you have that discussion with us and you are having some what consistent sex with us then you will begin to know when is an appropriate time for butt pleasure and you won't necessarily have to ask, but generally, it's a good idea to get the a-okay.

SECOND. AND EQUALLY IMPORTANT. LUBRICANT. No matter the size or shape of the object entering our buttholes please please please make sure it is lubricated. The first choice for lubricant would be that we have extra juicy vaginas and are able to use some of the yummy pussy juice to lubricate our ass hole, but most women aren't extra juicy, and when I say extra juicy, I mean really really extra juicy. Second choice would obviously be the lube outta the bottle, and folks, don't be stingy when it comes to lube, go for the more expensive (and preferably all natural) shit, nobody wants to use Dollar Tree lube, it just doesn't work. Now if you don't have access to lube (then you're a tard-face) you can resort to saliva. PLEASE NOTE: saliva is only acceptable when inserting fingers into the ass, anything bigger and it isn't going to work and you will get a fist in the face.

Before I go onto discussing my three favorite ways to take it in the ass I want to note that never ever stick something in our asses and then immediately stick that same thing in our vags. There is all kinds of unfortunate bacteria that will most likely lead to a vaginal infection and just isn't any fun, so make sure if you're gonna double dip you clean that shit. Pun fully intended.

Okay, yippie! We know the two rules to anal, now we get to talk about some of the ways we can do it.

1. Finger Penetration: Fingers are awesome, they can be used in so many cool ways to get us ladies off and one of those ways is by putting them up our asses. I'm sure ya'll all know to keep your nails trimmed so that there is no scraping and make sure your hands are clean. There are two ways the fingers can be used for anal pleasure. There is the more common of vaginal penetration by a dick/dildo/vibrator/other fingers, this would be the more intense of the penetrations and then a finger or two up the ass, this is fine and all, but I sometimes find it to be positionally awkward. Now my favorite way to use the fingers would be being dildo/dick up the ass and fingers in the pussy. By using a larger object to penetrate the ass you can stimulate the g-spot from behind and use the fingers to further add to that stimulation, this can make for a very pleasing and lush orgasm. I find that fingers are easier to use to find the g-spot through the vagina than something stiff as a dildo or penis.

2. Dildos and Dicks!: If you are having heterosexual sex then obviously you dudes love sticking your dicks up our asses, and quite frankly we probably like it just as much as long as you know what you're doing. A dildo works just as well for me, especially sense I prefer the ladies. It is very important to remember to change the condom when going from vagina to ass and vice versa. There really isn't that much that I can say about dildos and dicks with out it being kind of redundant with the fingers. Use them all together. The more the merrier right?

3. Butt Plugs Fuck Yeah: My favorite of the ass hole pleasuring tools would be the butt plug. A nice, little plug up the ass while being deeply penetrated in the vagina covers all the bases. I enjoy the butt plug because it frees up that hand that would otherwise be occupied with the ass or the vagina. So get this: with butt plugs you can get anal pleasure, vaginal penetration, AND have your hair pulled, or your face slapped, or your throat choked, you know, whatever your pleasure.

That's it, got questions? Shoot em' at me.

b-a-n-a-n-a-s

okay so my computer is all fucked up probably because of all the porn i downloaded so i have been deprived of the internetz for like a week now. FML. i feel like there is so much for to update ya'll with. first off, ya'll are looking at the brand new belle of the savannah lesbian ball. that's right, i somehow stumpled upon the dyke community here in safannie, and what can i say, i'm the new girl and i'm hot so of course things are going well, i am wanted by all. stupid thing about all of this? i already have drama. met this girl, let's call her ivy, ivy and i really hit it off, she is fantastic and smart and talented and yes i wanted to have sex with her. but i was on my period so we just made out on the hood of my car for almost an hour. fast forward a couple of days. i go to the bar with ivy, meet some of her frands (those dykes i was talking about earlier) and of course hit it off with all of them, ivy then leaves me at the bar to get dinner with a friend, which was okay because i was enjoying getting to know all these people. when she got back and saw how i was flocked by women who were vying for my attention she got all moody and stupid, EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER THAT I WAS READY TO LEAVE AND THAT I WOULD DRIVE HER HOME HINT HINT HINT. but no she wanted to walk. whatevs. so i had midterms and papers and basically was in the dark hole of academia for a coupla days and when i crawled out i realized i hadn't heard from ivy in like three days. so i called, thinking she was busy too, finishing up her thesis and shit, and i was gonna ask her to dinner. bitch comes at me about how disrespectful at that bar that night and how she was really hurt. WTF. it's like, omg, we made out once and we are in a monogomous relationship? not to mention she is moving to new york city in less than two weeks. SO WTF CAN'T WE JUST HAVE FUN AND HAVE SEX? apparently not.

in other news, i met this girl, i'll call her frenchie cause she isn't french at all. frenchie is the most superb creature ever and even though she has a girlfriend i know we have a soul connection. and i don't care that bookcase made fun of me when i talked about her aura, all i know is that we had sparks (like sex sparks not the drink sparks) and i am not above being a homewrecker.

bookcase is coming in town for st. patty's day. get ready for some shit to hit the safannie fan.

Imma outta lube d00ds. If you can mail me some of the fancy shit please get in contact with me. Cause I'm a broke ass hoe.

bro vs. slut

Bookcase n I had this whole convo on whether it's better than being a bro or a slut. We came to the conclusion that bros and sluts are pretty much the same thing, but being a bro is way more fun than being a slut. Does this make any sense? I feel more like a bro than a slut, but the outside world would view me as a slut, except for bros, bros view me as a bro. I dunno, doesn't make that much sense I guess. Whatevs.

rhythm nation

last nite i had this sexy dream about janet jackson. janet circa control and rhythm nation not where she's running around with jermaine dupri. it was so hawt. we were rolling around on the beach in black sand. im not sure if we were, in fact, doin' it, but there was lotsa heavy breathing and when we were done janet looked very satisfied.

i tried to consult my dream book, but you'd be surprised how nonspecific it was.


p.s. meyer hawthorne i've got a big hard on for u

check it out

NO MEANS NO.
shouldn't be that hard to understand.

I would just like to clarify...

Bookcase's boobs are not that much bigger than mine, in fact, she left her black bra here and I WORE IT LOT'S OF TIMES BECAUSE I KEPT LOSING MY BLACK BRA. So let us think about this people, if I could fit into her bra then our boobs must be around the same size. I will say that here titties are a bit (ONLY A BIT) larger than mine, but not significantly so. So she can stop hating on me for not wanting to have sex with her since I told her like three months ago that we could have sex now that I know she has itty bitty titties. If she has big boobs then I must have moderately large breasts as well. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i like white russians

and i dont care what poota says.

maybe ive had two already.

maybe im kinda drunk....

maybe.

i do not want to have sex with poota since she said that she was grossed out cuz my boobs are too big and they make her feel inferior.

whatever. i have big boobs. cant help it.

what else is there to do when NC has declared a state of emergency and there are national guardsmen in the streets WITH GUNS. I tried to HOLLA at one of them, but they were unamused.

So,

I have been masturbating myself to sleep lately, which is more productive than crying myself to sleep, HOLLA. Thing is that I generally can have ATLEAST 3 and upwards to 7 orgasms in TEN MINUTES. That is right folks, 7 orgasms in ten minutes. I don't know if it is normal, it certainly doesn't happen when I have intercourse (not like I remember what that is like anyways), but I do know that it is exhausting and proves to be as effective as nyquil as non-prescription sedative.

Oh and last night when Bookcase texted me and asked me what I was doing I said "falling asleep" which is code word for "masturbating" but she doesn't know that yet. SO HEY BOOKCASE GUESS WHAT?! FALLING ASLEEP IS NOW CODE WORD FOR MASTURBATING. KAY GMILY!

A Complicated Queerness: Living Femme in a Dyke Community from Hell or Highwater Productions on Vimeo.

i want to have sex. WITH YOU.

guhross

i have an eye infection that is kickin' my ass. bookcase says that i got my eye infection from gettin poop in my eye. and then she sang "poopie eye poopie eye poopie eye poopie eye" to me. fml.

twin says:

he is also a vagitarian.

also poota and I are speaking again. so thats nice.

lesbo is a twat face cunty butthead and I hate her ginger shaven public region.

so. those are my feelings.

enjoy.

Space Mountain

so poota needs some space. well we havent talked for 2 days cept one ONE text yesterday. i dont know about anyone else but this is now making me depressed, but i'm trrrying to respect the "space" and let her work everything out. this is hard and not the fun kinda hard either. this is sucky in the i-wanna-cry-and-throw-tantrums-cuz-my-best-friend-isnt-talking-to-me-and-its-hurting-my-feelings-but-ill-try-to-understand-so-ill-just-leave-her-alone kind of way.

do i have any other options? no. guess not. i suppose it gives me a new perspective on our relationship tho.

gimme gimme gimme

eye

don't appreciate Bookcase judging me and calling me gross when I say I want to have a threesome with Justin Bieber and Shane from the L-Word. He is 15, people, 15! I think it is a totally valid fantasy.

h@w+

roll tide roll

i really just want BAMA to hurry up and win the national championships so i can masturbate and go to bed. it's really all about dedication with this whole college football thing.

also i think we need someone computer savvy to make this blog look fancy.

roll tide friends and lovers. xoxoxoxo.

is it better to give love than to receive love?