REUNITED.

omg omg omg omg omg. i just got my schedule for next week and by the grace of the gods i have off the 7th and 8th.... which means, if you arent keeping track, that i will be going to visit pootalatte. i hope ya'll are ready for this. the last time we were together it was for about 4 hours while i was between flights in ATL. we watched chardonnay do some amazing tricks on the stripper pole and did not urinate anywhere but the toilet, as much as pootalatte would like you to believe otherwise. also it seems that its necessary for me to interview a certain male about the prospects of breaking this celibacy thing, which i have to say, im not happy about. hope he has some nice friends for me to hang out with since pootalatte has a tendency to run off when we are together, whiskatea is coursing through our veins, and she's hornier than christina ricci in black snake moan.

JOINT BLOCK PART DEUX

okay. bookcase and i are doing this joint blog thing. so after we finish arguing about me going poop we will get on to the blog. okay. argument finished. awkward silence. uuuhm now we discussing what the topic should be. bookcase is pondering. bookcase is feeling overwhelmed about boys talking about her boobies. creepy boy made a degrading comment about Bookcase's (there is a turkey in her backyard AT THIS MOMENT) boobies and it really upset it her, which is a valid thing. She thinks from the whole,wait, she doesn't know how to describe it, its like only her boyfriend can talk about her boobies. and me I can talk about her tits. like who the fuck is creepy boy to think that he can just go around talk about her boobs like they are a piece of meat. grade a sirloin A, btw. aaaaah sperm in the eye!!! little sperm swimming in your eyeballs looking for the egg, I wonder if they think the pupil is the egg. Bookcase doesn't think she will ever let a boy spluge on her ever again since dwarf spluged on without asking, now she thinks the whole spluging on the female body is awful. I disagree, and I think that she will get over this and enjoy spluge once again. I am playing an Alabama football quiz and losing. Bookcase is talking about ANTM. this post sux. uuhhhmmm. oh yeah! Bookcase is coming to visit hopefully MAY 7th! we are goin dancin' itz gonna be phun. 2.83 is moving back to greenville apparently. fuck the job market. now i am confirming that she can INDEED make out with boys of the gay variety. they are the best. ATLEAST YOU HAVE REAL FRIENDS BOOKCASE EVEN IF THEY ARE LAME (bookcase is clarifying that they are not lame, they are amazing). we are talking in crazy accents. now we are talking about how all my medications are the reason i never poop. boys boys boys.

this is an awesome joint post with BOTH pootalatte and bookcase. we are on the fone together, she is brushing her teeth...no wait...now she is dissing me to answer a fone call from a boy. bitch. anyways, while she is talking to "boy" I might as well admit I am talking to a boy too. He is nice and doesn't think I'm a slut. which is cool I guess. alright fuck bookcase. she failed to tell me that fone boy was actually arriving at her house at this very moment. so fuck her and fuck thi joint post. we will try again tomorrow.

southern summer 09

best part about summer: not having to wear clothes.
worst part about summer: going to walmart to stock up on MILOS and having all of gwinnett county see my nipples.

fuk.

gnargnar

so with all this energy that I am not wasting on sex I decided to make a butt flap. so when i am shreddin and I fall on my ass the flap will cushion the fall? anyways I don't know if there is a secret way to make one, but I am just going to go for it. itz gonna have T.I. lyrics on it. from the song "no matter what" that shit speaks to me.

this morning I was getting onto Bookcase for going on all these lame dates with lame dudes (from my perspective, I mean I have never met them but they sound lame) and I understand that she is bored up thurrrr in the mountains, but I mean seriously, Imma pretty fucking bored in the suburbs. so she was all like "well you should go out with cyber or american eagle or something" and was like "d00d, american eagle sux, so why would I waste time with him, AND cyber totally doesn't sux, so I would love to hang out with him EXCEPT I WOULD TOTALLY END UP FUCKING HIM!" Bookcase seems to think that I have enough self control to hang out with an attractive boy/girl/whatever and NOT fuck their brains out. She is delusional. I am not comfortable enough with my celibacy to be around attractive people without trying to have sex with them. she is, and kudos to her (except for the lame-o'z she is wasting her time with), butt I am certainly not. thats why I am trying to use my sexual energy krafting, sk8ting, and masturbating, so that maybe one day I will be comfortable enough with my no sex rule that I can hang out like a normal person. butt for now I will continue being a dorky, creepy, totally pathetic recluse. and I like it.

kickflip

I hate klonopin. I want my xanax back. this other shit is just making me angry. or maybe not having sex is making me angry. I actually think not having sex is making me more productive and creative, plus I have been sk8boarding alot which is a really great work-out so this whole celibacy thing might actually be working out. butt I still hate the klonopin.

crabwalk

shitz so fuckd. skewls almost over. i got good grades. 2 a'z and 1 b, i think. fml at home. i wish my doc would put me back on ambien cause i cant sleep. it's summer now, so he is going to try to get me off benzos. fml with doctors. imma gettin really good a skateboarding. i have a crush on a boy, but it is impossible that he has a crush on me back. i have faux crushes on millions of girls, but i don't know them so thats really creepy. im a perv because i would totally fuk an 18 year old and the general public (bookcase, my lil' sister, and my mom) all say thats gross. im already pretty tan which is kewl. if i don't get this spa job i will enter a deep state of depression that will lead to me not leaving the bed, taking copious amounts of benzos (that i have stockpiled), reading kerouac nonstop, giving up on life, dropping out of college again, not practicing my shredding, and losing my fabulous tan. i hate being a cancer. i get too fucking over-anaytical about things. like this job. and my crush. who i am not fucking really stressing out about, except i want to fuck him somemore and maybe get some validation on my feelings. I wish Saltshaker would call me sometimes and talk me thru my astrological meltdowns, because she is a cancer and knows all about it. astrology is fucking stoopid, i don't know what i am talking about. the last person i saw that was my age had gone to a nickleback concert the night before. where am i going to skewl next semester? fml.

if she gets to, i get to.

1. della in kale
2. nose

whales and marriage

so the last time i spoke with sunday on the fone he asked if i found "the one" yet. i was like "uh no boo. " it seems he thinks that this whole celibacy thing is some lord of the rings quest to get married, pop out a few kids, and buy a condo in florida. i just want to make it clear, to everyone, pootalatte and i are marrying each other, so that's not the point of this whole sexless adventure. the point, let me remind everyone, is to have dudes/ladies/koala bears in our lives that like us for more than our badonkadonk and tiny physique respectively. throughout these past fuck free days many weedz (those we know who just wanna fuck us, wanna fuck us first before getting to know us, etc...) have become obvious, and it's the weedz that drive you crazy. they make things complicated. poota and i try to keep things as simple as possible. keeping the people around who actually care, like those who make me food cause they know thats how to win me over, or calm me down after a bout of nasty old ladies at the co-op... that right there, easy, they're keepers. sunday also said that we could really just call our celibacy thing being "sensible", but i dont buy that. while i would hope that most dudes/aliens/great white sharks are sensible with their dating habitats, pootalatte and i have adopted a somewhat more intense version on sensibility, a more cum in your face version, if you will.

change the way we eat

ITZ REALLY EASY FOR ME TO BE CELIBATE WHILE LIVING IN MY PARENTS BASEMENT IN GRAYSON GEORGIA. the closest thing to pussy that I'll ever get is the the awkward boy with a lip ring who works at blockbuster and he won't even fucking look at me as I am conveniently leaning over the counter enhancing my cleavage and making references to blow jobs.

Pootalatte: tonite i watched nototrious AND resurrection of tupac. I am buggin on thug overload.
Bookcase: oh god.
Pootalatte: truth. I cant sleep cuz i think tupac is about to bust thru my door cuz im the chosen one. like mary mother of jesus or some shit.
Bookcase: wtf.
Pootalatte: exactly. but i can feel it in my bones. it's trippin me out.
Bookcase: ...i have no idea what to tell you.
Pootalatte: take another xanax and sleep with one eye open.
Bookcase: hahahahahahahahahahahaha. take two and sleep with both open.
Pootalatte: thats probably the safest bet. I dont want shit to get fuckd. im ready to be the chosen one, i just dont want him to sodomize me as my initiation.
Bookcase: wow. oh god. im both terrified and enthused.
Pootalatte: just imagine how i am feeling! i am about the change the world with some crazy prophesy/child provided to me by tupac himself. im straight buggin yo.
Bookcase: i feel you. im ready to raise it with u.
Pootalatte: thats how he would want it. two stron empowered nurturing women raising the future ruler of society. the child who will revive the the thug life codes and kill whitey.
Bookcase: hahahahahahahahahahaha. kill whitey.
Pootalatte: truth.
Bookcase: word.

XXX

shout out to my lil' sis, itz her burfday today. she'z 17 so hands off perverts. anyways, she'z fukin kewl, she is the jeff to my mutt, my BBBBFFFFZZZZZZZ, and now she can rent rated R movies. holla. love!

I kinda feel lyke claiming celibacy is about as absurd as claiming ?straightedgecy? I don't think that's right, I mean Bookcase and I are both 23 so itz real st00pid if yew are over the age of 16 and still straight edge. I guess sobriety would be the correct word. hahahahahahahahahahaha. sobriety.
NA (wutz up Griffin House!) would be so proud. if I did that. I'm not. Imma just saying that how weird celibacy is, celibacy is about as fuckd up as sobriety. I'm very angry today, itz my period, sorry.

fer yer viewing pleasure

I dunno if the grass is going to be greener on the other side. Imma skeered.

also i added some pix of sofie tophu before she became a crak head. just cause she is cute and I lyke looking at her, so yuh. Imma going thru thiz crazy maternal mom phase. itz the moon and my period and shit. so look at pix of my dawg.

sippin on coke n rum

last night I was telling Bookcase about how I felt like I couldn't even leave the fucking house cuz I felt lyke I would just start humping the first attractive 8th grader that walked by me. she wuz all lyke "get a hobby bitch" and I wuz all lyke "fuk yew bitch". well not really, but she did mention getting a hobby. I do have hobbiez. lots of 'em. butt they don't help distract from my horniness they just aide in the softening of soft taco.

• reading - no matter what it is I will most certainly find something about it that turns me on, lyke a question mark or sum shit.
• crafting - no lie, I am so narcissitic that I get turned on by how hawt the shit I make is.
• sunbathing - I am laying half-naked in the sun glistening like a bronzed goddess, Imma gettin turned on just thinking about it.
• watching tv - yes this is a hobby, and duh fukin gossip girl turns me on.
• riding my bike - something in between my thighs equals horny.
• daydreaming - usually ends up with moi masturbating in Building C's bathroom. the one with the showers. cuz itz big, and usually empty.
  
• listening to musik - r.kelly is hawt.
• art - reminds me of this one time...
• sewing - this could be categorized with crafting, but I just thought the interesting thing about sewing that turns me on is the consistent IN and OUT of the needle. IN and OUT.
• drugs - duh. all I want to do is take a loratab and fuk for hours.
• drinking - duh again.

I dunno. those are all the hobbies we could think of, which makes me feel kind of boring. which is kind of turning me on.

monDAY

futbal

bukowski always turns me on. its stoooopid.

only thing worse than a whore is a bore

Bookcase and I were talking about fake tittiez the other day and she was all like "yeah dude i would totally get fake boobs" and I was all like "dude really?" and she was like "fuck yuh brah, shit would be awesome" and I was all like "dude, that shits gnar-gnar I dunno if I'm ready for that shit, brah".

This convo was like three or four days ago and it just hit me that if dude does ever get fake titz we would never have a romance. Like EVER. Not cuz I disagree with fake titz, I just can't fuck a girl with way bigger boobies than me. It's an inferiority complex. And now itz hitting me that we would never be able to brawl! Because I saw on Rock of Love with Bret Micheals some bitch was mudwrestling another bitch and her fake boobie popped. I would never wanna pop Bookcases fake boobie. She'z my BFF.

I am fucking homesick for birmingham. My court date is mid-may so maybe I will stay a coupla dayz and see my boiz. Maybe I will even smoke some weed, cuz I know Ree-Ree is hiding some in the fridge. And maybe I will have sex.

dippity doo

I'm so bored Imma gonna go give a blow job for a coupla lines a blow.

gay boyz

i want em. i need em. i have to, have to, have em. i met a great one last night. im super excited to commence cuddling, shopping montages, and cheeky commentary at the bar/club/yoga studio.

the dude brah question

so you meet a guy/gurl, at a bar, at the grocery store, at your local library, where ever, and you get to chatting. as the conversation progresses he starts talking about how he hooked up with this other girl the night before, do you:

a. give him a high five and ask to smell his fingers
b. laugh it off and change the subject
c. give an eye roll and continue on your way

i think its all cums down to the dude brah question. should ladies embrace their inner dude when they are around guys or hold on to any notion of manners, respect, and all that crap, thereby refusing to indulge guys while they fart, talk about sexual conquests, and measure their dicks in happy disarray?

i know i am more inclined to answer a since that putz me in friend status with the guy and they are less likely to look at me as a sexual conquest and more as a threat to them when it cums to scoring chicks. heh heh. by "scoring" i mean meeting, of course.

lemons

also, where the fuck are all the lesbians?

some sausage for my soft taco

I am not even gonna lie ya'll, I have had the best sex of my life this past month. with myself. thing is, I haven't been forced to masturbate this often in a while, and for the past, uuuhhm, 3? years I've been on a cocktail of drugs that didn't do much for my pussy 'cept make it dry..make it a hard taco..ha. now (thank you dr. bowCOCK) I have a new cocktail of drugs and holy motherfucking shit mama's ready to go! it's incredible because I have a sex drive that finally matches my personality (a fourteen year old boy duhz) AND its a bummer because I'm not having sex. but no worries, I have spent the past month reaaaaally focusing on my masturbory skills and I've got it down. I even have choices of what kind of orgasm I am going to go for:

• The Quickie - whambamthankyoumam, finished in under 2 minutes and convienent when in the car, or school bathroom, and any other semi-secluded public place. this covers my fave sex thing - sex in publicish.
• The Squirt - now mind you, I have only accomplished this three times in my WHOLE life, twice with me and once with the unfortunate bitchfacecuntsquirreltwatfoot. Anyways, this takes a little finesse and my pink sausage, but with the right scented candles, the elusive g-spot orgasm will make an appearance. fun, but too much work usually.
• The Sitcom - this is my absolute favorite and I must say I have it down to a science! when I have more than five minutes to dedicate to self-love then I usually settle down with my bottle of lube and lady gaga porn running through my head. It's all about almost climaxing, and then not, almost climaxing, and then not, etc. then when I am ready I just let it go and swear to gawd I will have like 6 orgasms that will just keep coming for up to thirty minutes, hence the name "the sitcom."

So basically it's cool. Imma doin' fine without person-to-person fucking, but I will get bored soon and that is when the real challenge will come.

roll (in with the homies)

dude my little sister just tried to sell me XTC. like the band. but the drug. WTF?

mister roboto

I am totally kind of having cyber sex right now. With someone I have never met. It's hot. No lie. Bookcase said I can't but the only one thats going to be touching soft taco tonight is me so I think its okay. Right?

Also Bookcase and I had a chilling discussion about the possibility that we may never have sex again and then she said something about her and I just doing it. I don't think there is a loophole for her and I doing it. That would be way worse than cyber sex.

ethnic

some bitch in my class said I wasn't a feminist cause I wuz drinking a hooters energy drink. I laughed and then I shoved her face up her ass.

Bookcase and I were discussing our vagz names and I wont disclose Bookcase's secret but it is urban. I call mine soft taco. Bookcase got offended and grossed out, but I mean it's soft and kinda like a taco. yum yum yum.

tatz

I want this tattooed somewhere, maybe on my inner left thigh, cuz on my inner right thigh imma gettin REBEL YELL. dixie pussy yall

Sex Positive: Feminism, Queer Theory, and the Politics of Transgression

"Disengagement with politics simply celebrates a commodification of sex and gender, without
seeking to challenge institutionalized power. Activists working for the liberation of people of color, women, and sexual minorities must assess the political costs of excluding material contextualization from our analyses. By privatizing the sexual in our own theory and politics, we have reduced sexuality to a matter of style, and redefined political resistance in terms of lifestyle, fashion, and personal transformation."

" In short, what was once 'the personal is political' has become 'the political only need to be personal.' By creating a climate in which self-transformation is equated with social-transformation, the new identity politics has valorized a politics of lifestyle, a personal politics that is centered on who we are - how we dress or get off - that fails to engage with institutionalized systems of domination"

-elisa glick-feminist review-spring 2000

reason enough

Pootalatte: there are lots of boys with beards in savannah.
Bookcase: sign me up.
Pootalatte: yuh. real cute ones. like im horny just looking at them. and yes i am totally myspace lurking.
Bookcase: hahahahahahahahahahaha. o god. gurl u need a blow up doll or something
Pootalatte: ha. yeah so i can totally lick its blow up vagina.

I drank a hooters energy drink. now I am hallucinating things. like the size of my titz. shits insane.

life goalz

it's important to have goals. they convey that you're working towards something, that you have the future in mind, that you arent just stuck in a boring ass town filled with 20 year-old boys and old people. there's a method behind the madness. or sum shit like that.

here are the goals of pootalatte and bookcase:
1. move to key west, buy a sea shanti, and work as bar tender/madame and cocktail waitress/stripper
2. get the fuck out of the south
3. reunite with salt shaker and live together
4. be on tyra and ellen, im not sure we are classy enough for oprah
5. become infamous
6. get a book deal
7. get a movie deal
8. sex clittens reunion
9. oh yeah find nice fella/lady
10. never ever stop being 14 year old boys

boobies

this morning i woke up singing a song about boobies. i'm not sure if it is a legitimate song or not, it kinda went like : baaaaah bobobooobies booboobooooooooobies boobiesboobiesboobies baaaaah bobobooooooobies booboobooooooooooooooobies boobiesbahboobieboobies baaaaaah.


i am so horny that i got turned on watching hannah montana...or uhm miley cyrus?stewart?....kiss cowboy with a cute smile.

sex + love = slex?

after a somewhat disappointing, but eye-opening, encounter last night i have come to a decision. me and pootalatte want more than just someone to fuck, and that, in essence, is the point of this whole silly celibacy thing - to find someone who actually cares about us...feelings...love... blah blah blah. no more will we confuse fucking with feelings, because we won't fuck unless there are legit emotions involed. i don't want to have sex with someone who doesnt care about me, or who i barely know, ew. more to the point, we will not disassociate sex and love. this is the element missing from a lot of previous sexual romps. while we had a great time fucking, thats all it was, fucking. and that is no longer appealing. we don't just have a smoking hot body, we are this smoking hot body. by having sex without the love part we tricked ourselves. making us think that our self-worth is tied up with physical ability instead of mutual connection, caring, and respect. i think our mind is dependent on the body, so does Whitman for that matter, but i digress. focusing on the actual connection between two people as opposed to finding someone you want to push into a storage room and do nasty things to will lead to relationships of far better quality and eventually the kind of sex that makes your eyes roll back in your head just thinking about.

"There is more reason in your body than in your best wisdom."
no more will we no long pay attention to what our body tells us. first impressions, gut intuitions, physic premonitions, bring it. we are listening.

shitz gettin deep

this morning Bookcase and I had a brilliant conversation about what we were placed on this earth to do. THE RE-SOCIALIZATION OF THE MALE SPECIES. pretty sure itz gonna change a lot of peoples lives. try saying boys like sex ten times fast. you'll end up sounding like yer from alabama or something. BURN. when i'm talking about the re-socialization of the male species i just want ya'll to realize that we have to start with the malez, cause we live in a patriachal society and shit, so once once we change the dudes then the dudettes are gonna be next. i'm not trying to be sexist or anything. i mean i am sexist, but i don't want people to know. i was almost going to blog about this one time and jolly ranchers, but then i kinda felt like the story was too intimate. HAHAHAHAHA. too intimate. butt of course by intimate i mean sweet. like i feel really uncomfortable sharing sweet moments in my life butt not dirty ones. i wonder what dr. burdike would say about that. too bad i skipped our last session. bitch. who the fuck wants to pay 110 buck-a-roos a week to talk to a therapist? fuck. im listing to the soundtrack to the good, the bad and the ugly right now. im totez obsessed with westerns, especially those of the spaghetti variety. they are fucking sexy dude. also sexy, all of lady gaga's videoz. in fact i think i figured out all my dream porns would be lady gaga videos taken a couple steps further in the sex department. plus akon is in the just dance video so it covers my big urban man needs. and she gits durty with a chick in the love game video so it covers my lesbo needs. American Eagle finally grew ballz and asked me out on a date. to six flags. wtf? do i look like i like huge lame amusment parx? cause i don't. denied. i feel really bad for my lil sister these days. the thing is, i have all this pent up sexual tension and aggression and masturbatin' is just not helping, so all i fucking want to do is brawl out on people. unfortantetly for the sis she is the closest and easiest thing for me to punch. apologizes. i need summer.

girl on girl

Bookcase: 2.83 just said that if i was to date a girl he'd want it to be u.
Pootalatte: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha omg that just made my life!
Bookcase: Mine too. i spit out my beer when he said that.


this morning i was having a sex dream about Salt Shaker, thankfully Bookcase woke me up before I had my face in SS's pussy. that woulda been awkward.

rated r

the other day I was shuffling around blockbuster looking for the movies that seemed like they had the most sexual content with the most attractive people in them. I was literally in the store for over an hour reading the backs of movies searching for some sign that they were gonna be naughty. it wasn't until I got home and started watching the movies that I realized all I really need to do is get porn. unfortunately most porn doesn't star zooey deschANAL or emilio hirsch. which is a bummer, but I mean whatevs, I'm sure I could find some porn that had atleast one person I would boink in it. Bookcase said I would like little asian boy porn and she would like big urban man porn. I guess she forgot lil' wayne is on my top eight on myspace. not that lil' wayne is big, but he is very urban, so I think I would definitely like big urban man porn. it's not so much the dudes I'm worried about I guess, it's the ladies. I'm real particular about my ladies and porny ones really aren't what get the juices flowing down there. and yes, I guess I could just watch gay porn, but I have watched alot of gay porn, and really, once I saw some dude fuck another dude with a vodka bottle and then watched "igotfuckedbyavodkabottle" squirt booze out of his ass I was pretty much done with the whole gay porn thing. probably not done forever, I suppose if the dudes were foxy enough I wouldn't be opposed to watching it, just as long as vodka bottles and broomsticks weren't involved. I do kindo of like the vintagey porn, like porn from the 70's and 80's, I mean most of those people were attractive and it was before jenna jameson, so I feel like there is more diversity (and by diversity I mean hair color) in the types of women I get to see, and all the dudes have mustaches which is totally hot duh. but what I really want is porn with people that I would actually fuck in real life which probably means that I should just make my own porn, which I would totally do but I don't think Bookcase would approve of and she would def say it's not kosher with the whole celibacy thing. I know alot a people out there (because obviously millions read this thing), are like "dude, pootalatte, just read some erotic stories". well I do, and for your information, most of them vividly describe the type of women that are involved (I only read lesbo erotica) so once I read that the jimmie is a 50 year old gold star bull dyke that is slightly overweight I just can't get that image of jimmie out of my head and jimmie isn't capable of turning me on. in most cases. plus sometimes I'm too lazy to read and it's alot easier to shred the beef without holding a book in your hand and trying to read sentences. and now there is a police officer at my front door and I am kind of spazzing out and I just want him to leave, time to snort a xanax and lock myself in my moms room. peace.

drunk dial

tonight bookcase and i got drunk together. via phone. like we sat alone in our houses and drank alcohol and talked on the phone. fuck.

loop holez

Pootalatte: how can I weigh 92 pounds and still have a gut?
Bookcase: u dont have a gut. and u need to poop. for real gurl. drink lotsa water and eat flax. u gotta purge.
Pootalatte: maybe pooping would help. its like a bloated gut.
Bookcase: exactly! i told you.
Pootalatte: okay. poooooooop.
Bookcase: im telling u.
Pootalatte: and maybe some sit upz.
Bookcase: no. u dont need to do that. do u need to queif? heh heh.
Pootalatte: hah. i dunno if that would release the bloatation. i think sex might help....
Bookcase: shut up. there is no loop hole for bloating.
Pootalatte: uh puhleaze? it works better than midol.
Bookcase: fuck you. no!
Pootalatte: dammit.
Bookcase: who did u pick up? American Eagle?
Pootalatte: oh just GimmeGimme. I could just say the word and he would be in the car on his way here. SEX!SEX!SEX!
Bookcase: no! no! no! if i cant do Platinum u cant have GimmeGimme.
Pootalatte: bah.

Pending Weekend Warning

Be forewarned: Pootalatte and myself may, may, be getting together this weekend. This is contingent on Pootalatte getting enough money together. She could be in the process of selling an egg or ripping hair off of gay men for a pretty penny. If we are reunited for more than 4 hours you can count on 1. a webcam broadcast 2. vivid accounts of us brawling (either with each other or random passer-bys) and 3. plenty of bodily fluid.

so consider yourself told.

meant to be

For a brief brilliant moment (say between 1 am and 5 am) Bookcase and I were reunited. There was a hotel room and some urinary fluids. It was hawt.

bitches ain't shit

I was totez excited to wake up ass crack early this morning and drive to birmingham to go jail, but of course, all my hopes and dreams were shattered once I got there. I didn't get to do my fingerprints, I didn't get to show off my outfit in a new mugshot, there was no prison love connection, and I certianly didn't write a letter that changed american society. I did however get to sign a piece of paper and get a new court date. lame. once I got back to georgia I went to class and American Eagle had brought me a chai latte to class cause he knew it was my favorite! like, damn, boy wants to munch on this muffin, and while I think Bookcase would say he is a keeper cause he is real sweet, I can hardly stand sitting next to him for 50 minutes of english class. Me, American Eagle, not ever gonna happen. talked to Stray Dogg on the fone for two hours tonight, it was a sad day driving through the jams without seeing my boys, but hopefully the dogg will come keep me company this weekend. regardless, my fam is goin on vay-k and Bookcase is going to be in cali and SaltShaker is in love in shitago (gross) so I will spend this glorious period of freedom drinking whiskey in my mom's king sized bed with two adorable pups by my side and atleast four seasons of gilmore girls to entertain me. totally stoked. plus its kinda fun to stir the chowder in my moms bed, AND her SHOWER HAS A SEAT! which is major convenient.

that's all for now, Bookcase, text me later?

Pending Wedding adventure

So my big brother is getting married. Now I am on my way back to sunny california, without pootalatte, to partake in wedding festivities. I plan on taking an in-depth poll of everyone there to see what they think of my plan of sexless living. This should be hella funny considering most of them won't speak english.