sapphoaphroditeathenaartemishebepandia

According to the Ancient Greeks platonic love was the absolute purest emotion.

Bookcase is my soul mate. She is the only person I would want to have/raise my children with.

Sooo in other news, sex is cool I guess. Right after throwing celibicacy in the rubbish bin I met jesus and he wouldn't have sex with me for three weeks. But the heavens looked down on me and felt pity and jesus finally succumbed to my pathetic attempts at seduction and now he will have sex with me. Cool, huh?

News Flash

Bookcase and I are officially no longer celibate. We are now sexually empowered. Awesome, huh?

She is getting more ass than I am, but I am going to blame that on Jesus. Certainly not my doing.

blurp

gnargnar

so with all this energy that I am not wasting on sex I decided to make a butt flap. so when i am shreddin and I fall on my ass the flap will cushion the fall? anyways I don't know if there is a secret way to make one, but I am just going to go for it. itz gonna have T.I. lyrics on it. from the song "no matter what" that shit speaks to me.

this morning I was getting onto Bookcase for going on all these lame dates with lame dudes (from my perspective, I mean I have never met them but they sound lame) and I understand that she is bored up thurrrr in the mountains, but I mean seriously, Imma pretty fucking bored in the suburbs. so she was all like "well you should go out with cyber or american eagle or something" and was like "d00d, american eagle sux, so why would I waste time with him, AND cyber totally doesn't sux, so I would love to hang out with him EXCEPT I WOULD TOTALLY END UP FUCKING HIM!" Bookcase seems to think that I have enough self control to hang out with an attractive boy/girl/whatever and NOT fuck their brains out. She is delusional. I am not comfortable enough with my celibacy to be around attractive people without trying to have sex with them. she is, and kudos to her (except for the lame-o'z she is wasting her time with), butt I am certainly not. thats why I am trying to use my sexual energy krafting, sk8ting, and masturbating, so that maybe one day I will be comfortable enough with my no sex rule that I can hang out like a normal person. butt for now I will continue being a dorky, creepy, totally pathetic recluse. and I like it.

only thing worse than a whore is a bore

Bookcase and I were talking about fake tittiez the other day and she was all like "yeah dude i would totally get fake boobs" and I was all like "dude really?" and she was like "fuck yuh brah, shit would be awesome" and I was all like "dude, that shits gnar-gnar I dunno if I'm ready for that shit, brah".

This convo was like three or four days ago and it just hit me that if dude does ever get fake titz we would never have a romance. Like EVER. Not cuz I disagree with fake titz, I just can't fuck a girl with way bigger boobies than me. It's an inferiority complex. And now itz hitting me that we would never be able to brawl! Because I saw on Rock of Love with Bret Micheals some bitch was mudwrestling another bitch and her fake boobie popped. I would never wanna pop Bookcases fake boobie. She'z my BFF.

I am fucking homesick for birmingham. My court date is mid-may so maybe I will stay a coupla dayz and see my boiz. Maybe I will even smoke some weed, cuz I know Ree-Ree is hiding some in the fridge. And maybe I will have sex.

mister roboto

I am totally kind of having cyber sex right now. With someone I have never met. It's hot. No lie. Bookcase said I can't but the only one thats going to be touching soft taco tonight is me so I think its okay. Right?

Also Bookcase and I had a chilling discussion about the possibility that we may never have sex again and then she said something about her and I just doing it. I don't think there is a loophole for her and I doing it. That would be way worse than cyber sex.

sex + love = slex?

after a somewhat disappointing, but eye-opening, encounter last night i have come to a decision. me and pootalatte want more than just someone to fuck, and that, in essence, is the point of this whole silly celibacy thing - to find someone who actually cares about us...feelings...love... blah blah blah. no more will we confuse fucking with feelings, because we won't fuck unless there are legit emotions involed. i don't want to have sex with someone who doesnt care about me, or who i barely know, ew. more to the point, we will not disassociate sex and love. this is the element missing from a lot of previous sexual romps. while we had a great time fucking, thats all it was, fucking. and that is no longer appealing. we don't just have a smoking hot body, we are this smoking hot body. by having sex without the love part we tricked ourselves. making us think that our self-worth is tied up with physical ability instead of mutual connection, caring, and respect. i think our mind is dependent on the body, so does Whitman for that matter, but i digress. focusing on the actual connection between two people as opposed to finding someone you want to push into a storage room and do nasty things to will lead to relationships of far better quality and eventually the kind of sex that makes your eyes roll back in your head just thinking about.

"There is more reason in your body than in your best wisdom."
no more will we no long pay attention to what our body tells us. first impressions, gut intuitions, physic premonitions, bring it. we are listening.

bitches ain't shit

I was totez excited to wake up ass crack early this morning and drive to birmingham to go jail, but of course, all my hopes and dreams were shattered once I got there. I didn't get to do my fingerprints, I didn't get to show off my outfit in a new mugshot, there was no prison love connection, and I certianly didn't write a letter that changed american society. I did however get to sign a piece of paper and get a new court date. lame. once I got back to georgia I went to class and American Eagle had brought me a chai latte to class cause he knew it was my favorite! like, damn, boy wants to munch on this muffin, and while I think Bookcase would say he is a keeper cause he is real sweet, I can hardly stand sitting next to him for 50 minutes of english class. Me, American Eagle, not ever gonna happen. talked to Stray Dogg on the fone for two hours tonight, it was a sad day driving through the jams without seeing my boys, but hopefully the dogg will come keep me company this weekend. regardless, my fam is goin on vay-k and Bookcase is going to be in cali and SaltShaker is in love in shitago (gross) so I will spend this glorious period of freedom drinking whiskey in my mom's king sized bed with two adorable pups by my side and atleast four seasons of gilmore girls to entertain me. totally stoked. plus its kinda fun to stir the chowder in my moms bed, AND her SHOWER HAS A SEAT! which is major convenient.

that's all for now, Bookcase, text me later?

10 Reasons Why We Chose To Be Celibate

The truth of the matter is we like sex. I mean I know I like sex, and I am pretty confident Bookcase likes sex too. But its all the fucking bull shit that goes with it that is no good. So, Bookcase and I were like wtf? let's just be celibate, I mean we don't know if we want to date these people so what makes them think they deserve to get in our pants? I mean, I fuck you, then what? You live a world away? You don't believe in "monogamy"? You don't have a car? Most likely you are a fucking idiot and we just thought you looked like a good lay. Sweet tea and whiskey will do that to a girl. Unfortunately that is not as empowering as it was three years ago when I was younger and I know that I definitely want more than that, but I also really want the sex. But why is the sex so necessary? So via text (Bookcase and I live hours away from each other [bummer]) we came up with ten reasons why we shouldn't give a fuck about fucking!

1. We don't end up wasting our time on those who are unworthy.
2. The comfort of knowing that the person that we end up with is actually interested in US and not our MUFFINS!
3. The gnarlyness of being able to connect with our authentic selves on a spiritual level.
4. The peace of mind that the person laying next to us in bed is actually someone we can tolerate for more than 5 minutes, let alone want to wake up next to.
5. Losing the losers who just want to fuck us.
6. Being able to focus on other relationships in our life that are probably going to be more rewarding than some fling.
7. Having sex sober and not innebrated on whiskatea! Which means better orgasms!
8. Being totez comfy with our fucking cool souls and not feeling the need for validation through sex.
9. Never worrying about being exploited!
10. Have gobs of fun being the teases that we are. Furreal.


So on an end note. We aren't christian, we don't like god, and we don't fucking care about society's norms and rules. But that doesn't mean that we don't have feelings or that we aren't sometimes really confused (especially me, imma fucking cancer so I am always confused), so we are taking matters into our own hands and it is about time.