rated r

the other day I was shuffling around blockbuster looking for the movies that seemed like they had the most sexual content with the most attractive people in them. I was literally in the store for over an hour reading the backs of movies searching for some sign that they were gonna be naughty. it wasn't until I got home and started watching the movies that I realized all I really need to do is get porn. unfortunately most porn doesn't star zooey deschANAL or emilio hirsch. which is a bummer, but I mean whatevs, I'm sure I could find some porn that had atleast one person I would boink in it. Bookcase said I would like little asian boy porn and she would like big urban man porn. I guess she forgot lil' wayne is on my top eight on myspace. not that lil' wayne is big, but he is very urban, so I think I would definitely like big urban man porn. it's not so much the dudes I'm worried about I guess, it's the ladies. I'm real particular about my ladies and porny ones really aren't what get the juices flowing down there. and yes, I guess I could just watch gay porn, but I have watched alot of gay porn, and really, once I saw some dude fuck another dude with a vodka bottle and then watched "igotfuckedbyavodkabottle" squirt booze out of his ass I was pretty much done with the whole gay porn thing. probably not done forever, I suppose if the dudes were foxy enough I wouldn't be opposed to watching it, just as long as vodka bottles and broomsticks weren't involved. I do kindo of like the vintagey porn, like porn from the 70's and 80's, I mean most of those people were attractive and it was before jenna jameson, so I feel like there is more diversity (and by diversity I mean hair color) in the types of women I get to see, and all the dudes have mustaches which is totally hot duh. but what I really want is porn with people that I would actually fuck in real life which probably means that I should just make my own porn, which I would totally do but I don't think Bookcase would approve of and she would def say it's not kosher with the whole celibacy thing. I know alot a people out there (because obviously millions read this thing), are like "dude, pootalatte, just read some erotic stories". well I do, and for your information, most of them vividly describe the type of women that are involved (I only read lesbo erotica) so once I read that the jimmie is a 50 year old gold star bull dyke that is slightly overweight I just can't get that image of jimmie out of my head and jimmie isn't capable of turning me on. in most cases. plus sometimes I'm too lazy to read and it's alot easier to shred the beef without holding a book in your hand and trying to read sentences. and now there is a police officer at my front door and I am kind of spazzing out and I just want him to leave, time to snort a xanax and lock myself in my moms room. peace.