i am not a homewrecker

i deal with people on a daily basis. some of them give me books to borrow, some smell of moth bawlz and the price is right, and others smell just fine, but this week i've encountered a different breed of bakery patron, the married man. two dayz ago jehovah (more on the name later) came up to me on my break, introduced himself, and said i was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. flattering, yes, disconcerning, yes. he started the conversation with, "im married, but i just wanted to tell you..."

wtf.

this has taken an unexpected toll on me. to make matters even more awkward he came in the next day and gave me his number.

to make matters tripley awkward today i found out he and his wife are jehovah's witnesses.

i'll admit i dont know much about the faith but surely there's something in there about infidelity.

i'll also admit that i'm a bit curious to know what jehovah's intentions are with me.
possible intentions i've thought of:
1. tawdry affair
2. platonic bffs (not the greek kind, that's reserved for poota)
3. brainwash me into joining his cult... er... religion
4. secretly date me and decide to divorce his wife and marry me (would never happen, but who knows what he's thinking)
5. kidnap me and hold as sex slave
6. take out on date and just want to talk and stare at me
7. be bff's with the notion that if he werent married he'd hit this
8. eat my face
9. win a bet?
10. torture me to learn the secret recipes for scones etc for the bakery

poota says i shouldnt call him.
twin says i should.
pimpadocious hasnt weighed in.

what to do? what to do?

i'll tell you something tho, this whole experience has made me extremely disenchanted about the notion of monogamy. not that i was convinced from the get-go, but i wanted to believe. that little gurl inside wanted to hold on to the glittery dream scene of me and a gurl/boy/great white shark together forever. yes, yes, that's what poota is for. i know. but we've both discussed this topic before, and she feelz the same. it'd be great to have someone say, "i really think youre great. let's make a go at this, because i could see myself with you for a long time." im not asking for a ring, been there, dumped that. i just think if youre married, if youre fucking, if youre engaged in any kind of relationship with anyone, you need to be upfront and know where you stand with them, before they hold your $60 dollar bottle of arnica oil hostage (see our below joint post for more information). what prompted jehovah to give me his number? is he not satisfied with his wife? is he tired of her vagina and jonesing for mine? or is he just looking for a pretty thing to be friends with?

also, poota: just show up at fucktards door with the police and demand your shit back. it works, trust me.

i see jehovah everyday. a little advice please, apprec.