she wolf

I can't get over how three nights out of the week I am kept up by weird spraying machines that I guess clean the sidewalks of savannah. I mean, I suppose I haven't stepped on any old needles while being here so that's cool.

I think that Bookcase and I have called off celibacy. NO NEED TO PANIC FOLKS, the two of us discussed it in mostly detail today and have reached some very confusing conclusions. I can't really go into it deeply because her minutes ran out and we had to cut the discussion short so I don't want to make any commitments with out really clarifying whats going on with our future sex lives. However, I suppose I could kind of give ya'll some insight on things from my perspective. I am a young, physically healthy, mentally insane lady and I have sexual needs/desires that I would like to take care of and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think that as long as I keep the line of communication open with the person that I might be fucking then things will go smoothly. Okay it's like I was telling Bookcase earlier today: I am finding myself feeling the need to be intimate with someone but there are no people out there that I am confident that I want to pursue relationship with or maybe some people I feel uneasy about fucking because I know that I will get attached due to their probable intellect and wit. So when these waves of horny hit me I just need to remember to limit myself to what I like to call CORNS ON THE COBS. We all know corn has absolutely no nutritional value, but some buttery corn on the cob is definitely da bomb, so I eat it, get all dirty, enjoy it immensely and throw away the cob. Basically I enjoy sexual experiences with attractive tasty people who are not mentally attractive to me so that there is no risk of me getting attached and it is easy to walk away. Is that awful? Absolutely not, men having been doing it since the beginning of time, except they don't even put that much thought into it. Anyways, now that I am not "celibate" it is not like I am going out with my prostitute neighbors and prowling the street for a fuck, but I think that I am ready to be back out swimming with the fish.

when it knocks you down

I listen to Nina Simone non-stop and just sit around and do my homework and think and shit. It's awesome.

Part of my thinking has been about this whole celibacy thing. I am having such conflicting feelings right now. In the past I know that I have indeed fucked people just to validate myself as an attractive and worthy woman. Obviously that is not healthy, but I really feel like with everyday I am re-assured in my role as a single woman and am able to embrace my sexuality as one. I think the most important thing for me is to not confuse sexual freedom with actual freedom and to not continue objectifying myself, even though I may just be being myself. Its just that general society obviously hasn't progressed enough to allow me to do so. Am I selling out, or giving in when I say that I should limit myself in how I dress or how I talk because I want to be seen as an assertive woman as opposed to a kinda slutty crazy girl? I don't know I don't know. I've never been one to give in. Shits real weird right now.

manifesting a new social construction or why poota isnt a whore

I heard somewhere that dating is dead.

actually it was here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
in the Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships article. read it.
if yer lazy you can also download it as a podcast.

Look at this: -------->
the age of marriage is on the rise. got it. makes sense.

the occurance of the "hook-up" is rising as well, and the term is so vague it leaves enough to the imagination to cover all the possible hook-up bases. forgive the pun.

this is exactly what we are talking about. people our age don't date, they "hook-up". whatever that means. maybe we should enjoy it. maybe we should say "fuck this blog" and have people compete in a survivor-style duel for the chance to have sexxx with us.

does this mean we have to wait 5 more years for dudes/dykes/great white sharks to be serious about having a meaningful relationship with us and not just try and get away with showering us with burritos and queso in exchange for cum in the face? are we just weirdos for wanting someone who knows us first to be inside us?

i need some kind of confirmation that if i did have sexxx with someone they wont turn out to be the kind of person who uses the term "colored" and actually wants to discuss the tragedy of industrialization in developing countries and its potential environmental, social, and political impact.

also, is this article suggesting that since ladies and doodes are engaging in sexual encounters without the committment of marriage or a realtionship the social stigma of doing so will soon fade into the past, in which case, "No Poota, you are not a whore." ???

clairification anyone? OR let the games begin...

luck be a lady

It is a fantastic time to be a Single Lady in Savannah these days!

I have the four date/future partner possibilities:

.nameless golden toothed middle age neighbor man who wants me to go to the movies with him.

.army reserve boy with no hair in my ethics and value in history class who wants me to go to the movies AND dinner with him.

.marine who molested me at the park who wants to take me barhopping this friday.

.the secretary of the sci-fi club at AASU who wants me to come over and "hang out".


FML

obvi

so I totally already have a mad crush on the TA for my Womens Studies class. fucking cliche dudes.

notes on a monsoon

my poor little volvo can't make it thru three feet of water and sofie is certainly not willing to trek the 7 block hike to the BP so mum can get her cigs, but Bookcase was there for me via cell phone (thank god it's saturday) and I survived the hellish floods of whatever fucking part of town this is that I live in. gurl love is the best, even if it has to be long distance.

my neighbor who live across the street (his house is actually the house on THE CORNER, the corner where the prostitutes stand), well my neighbor (he shall remain nameless) was returning home to his house on THE CORNER from the liquor store that is across the street when he decided a monsoon would be THE PERFECT TIME TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF. the thing is that this nameless neighbor is in his fourties and has two gold front teeth and he actually thought it was a grand idea to ask me TO THE MOVIES. apparently I look like the type of lady who would go to the movies with middle aged golden toothed men. I actually think golden teeth are sexy, we all know my wet spot for rappers of all variety, but they aren't quite as sexy on old men who live on THE CORNER. I will admit I am being rather judgemental here and assuming that since he lives on THE CORNER then he must manage THE CORNER since that is how it was with a previous neighbor of mine (walter), but man who shall remain nameless might just be an innocent by stander like myself who dares not take THE CORNER away from its rightful owners. anyways, while I was on the fone with Bookcase lamenting over the nameless middle aged man asking me on a date I also happened to throw in the fact that sofie was straddling my face and that Savannah was quite lonely. yes, and that was when I decided that maybe, just maybe I should go to the movies with my golden toothed nameless neighbor.

nothing has entered my vagina, nor Bookcase's vagina BTW. celibacy roxxx.

gurl love timez deux

sometimes i think about what its gonna be lyke when im old, when im that crazy lady at the end of the street that keeps all the stoopid ballz kids kick or throw into her yard and sometimes i think about how i graduated, got my degree, and somehow managed to get a job making 9 dollars an hour taking rich peoples shit all day, AND sometimes i think about college and all the terrible and alternatively pimpadocious times i had.

BUTT it all comes down to one very very important thing:

despite the pitfalls, and granted i am relatively happy, but its only because of the fact that i know that while im thinking about these things theres a lady in the middle of a monsoon, squatting on her bed with sophie and argu, thinking about me.


ok ok. i know you all are getting tired of us. we will get back to the sex talk pronto.

take that.

This is in response to Bookcases entry

since living in Savannah I have:

• sat in bed with my pup and new kittie and dreamt of Bookcase
• laid in bed with my pup and new kittie and dreamt of Bookcase
• stood in bed with my pup and new kittie and dreamt of Bookcase
• finished reading all my text books BEFORE skewl has even started
• squatted in bed with my pup and new kittie and dreamt of Bookcase

the bars are weird here, everything is too fancy, I want dive ya'll. like furreal dive.

I hate that me n my girl have to live so far away. it is fukin lame dudes. I DONT WANT TO WAIT UNTIL 2012 UNTIL WE LIVE TOGETHER. but I mean it makes total sense. cause, like, I graduate 2011ish, we move to D.C., become the political activists we we are meant to be and then BRING THE STATE OF SOCIETY DOWN WITH OUR COMBINED GNARLYNESS. but furreal, can we just practice living together before then?

thank god Gossip Girl starts in like, une month.

FYI: I HATE BIRTH CONTROL COMMERCIALS. shit is so bad for you. note to ladies: just become lesbians!

my apartment is real cute. I love my corner hookers, though I can't say the feeling is returned, I wish there was some way I could tell them that I'm not trying to jock on their territory. some boys from bjams came to visit me last weekend, it was cool, I really had missed them. now it's just me and my pup and my new kittie (arugula tugboat) and my dreams of Bookcase. oh, and marathons of House and Law and Order SVU.

xoxoxo
POOTA

girl love sucks

everyone who reads this knows that poota and i are in gurl love. obvi. so her moving to Savannah, what with its dreamy coffee shop baristas, marc jacobs, and raisin brans running around, i am utterly distraught. so much so that i am thinking about getting a new fone and new plan that includes more mins cuz right now i teeter too close to going over every single month. its terrible. the godz and oprah are against us totez. we have been trying to live together for years now and the timing is always stinky. either we are having mental breakdowns or are not talking to each other or dont have enough money. whatev. it will happen whens its supposed to. besides in 5 years we are gonna get married anyway. sorry 2.83.

she is starting this whole new life and i am totez missing out on being there. it suxxx. and i do not like it. i want us to meet to in the morning and have coffee on the steps and say good morning to the hookers as they start their day. what more could you ask for, really? savannah wouldnt know what to do with hurself if we lived together in the same town. the city would eat itself and live anew. like the jungle. maybe thats what 2012 is about. thats when poota and i will get to finally converge in the same town, in the same house. the world wont know what to do with itself. maybe the mayans got it wrong.

think on that interweb world.